It’s Not What’s in Your Glass. It’s Who’s Around Your Table.
The holidays have a way of bringing everything to the surface.
Joy and stress.
Laughter and noise.
Connection and the occasional chaos.
They remind us that the best moments are rarely about the menu, the place settings, or the perfect plan.
They are about the people.
The ones who make you feel safe.
The ones who make you laugh until you forget your phone exists.
The ones who see you fully and love you anyway.
This brings me to something that’s been an accidental experiment.
Lately, as I hit that dreaded late 40s, I’ve been paying attention to what actually makes me feel good, clear, and fully myself.
Not just for the night.
But for the next morning.
And for the version of me I’m becoming.
That curiosity has led me to explore my relationship with alcohol because it doesn’t serve me the way it used to.
And what surprised me most is this:
The best part of any night was never the drink.
It was the people.
For a long time, I was nervous to even experiment with that.
Especially as someone who lives in the world of conferences, events, and dinners.
So much of that world is built around having a drink in your hand.
Happy hours.
VIP receptions.
Late night lobby conversations.
I used to wonder:
Will I still be fun?
Will I still connect the same way?
Will I feel awkward at the table?
Underneath all of that was a deeper fear.
Will I still belong?
At a few recent events, I chose to skip alcohol or drink much less. No big announcement. No speech. I just ordered club soda with lime or a mocktail in a pretty glass and went on with my night.
And the wild part?
Nothing about my ability to connect changed.
We still laughed in the lobby.
We still had real conversations about business, families, fears, and dreams.
We still celebrated wins.
The only thing that changed was how I felt.
More present.
More grounded.
More like myself.
I realized I had given alcohol too much credit for something it does not actually create.
Connection.
Connection doesn’t live in a glass.
It lives in presence.
In listening.
In curiosity.
In people who are willing to be real with each other.
Alcohol can sometimes feel like a shortcut, especially in big rooms with big energy. I get that. I’ve been there.
But the more I pay attention, the more I see the magic I love at events isn’t from the drink.
It’s from the people.
The friend who pulls you aside and asks, “How are you really?”
The peer who speaks life into your dream when you were about to shrink it.
The stranger who turns into a future collaborator.
None of that depends on what is in your glass.
If you’re in a sober curious season, or just rethinking your relationship with alcohol, here are a few things that are helping me:
1. Decide how you want to feel
I’m learning to choose based on the version of me I want to bring to the night and the morning after.
2. Make your choice feel normal
A mocktail in a cute glass goes a long way. So does confidence in your own decision.
3. Remember the real point
You’re there for the people, not the pour.
Here is the biggest surprise of all...
The relationships are just as good without the alcohol.
Maybe even better.
Because the best nights have never been about what’s in our glass.
They’ve always been about who is around our table.
So this holiday season, whether you’re sipping champagne, a mocktail, or sparkling water with lime, I hope you remember this.
Choose the tables that make you feel more you.
Choose the people who cheer for your life.
Choose the kind of connection you want to carry into the next year.
I’ll cheers to that.
Barb 💛
