Relationships Are a Mirror of Yourself
You can only attract what you see in yourself
I want to start with a truth that can change everything in how you connect, lead, and sell: relationships are a mirror of yourself.
I don’t mean it in a cheesy, abstract way. I mean it literally. The way you show up, the way you treat yourself, the voice you carry in your head… your relationships with others will reflect all of it back to you.
The Playground Lesson
When I was a kid, I spent a lot of time on the playground on the outside looking in. I wasn’t picked for kickball, I ate lunch alone, I wasn’t invited to sleepovers.
I learned early how to perform, how to hide my quirks, my thoughts, my interests, and how to protect myself, so rejection wouldn’t sting. By middle school, I had become a professional at pretending to be someone else just to fit in.
Here’s the truth: most of us carry these rules into adulthood. Workplaces, friend groups, teams, even our closest relationships become places where we perform and protect instead of being real.
When Your Mirror Is Clouded
Here’s what I’ve learned over the years: when you hide who you are, your relationships reflect it.
Constantly people-pleasing? Your relationships feel exhausting and one-sided.
Overly guarded? Your relationships feel distant and transactional.
Showing up inauthentically? Your relationships feel fragile, you’re always wondering if someone will reject you.
Authenticity isn’t about doing more. It’s not about performing better or trying harder. It’s about undoing. Undoing the layers of protection, undoing the masks, undoing the fears and doubts that have been following you since the playground.
Clear Your Mirror
When you lean into who you truly are, something powerful happens. Your relationships start to mirror the real you.
People respond to authenticity. People trust authenticity. People show up differently when they feel seen.
Think of your relationships like a reflection in a mirror:
If the mirror is clouded with self-doubt, fear, or hiding, that’s what you see in others.
If the mirror is clear, confident, and authentic, you attract people who reflect that back to you.
Start With Yourself
Here’s what to do today:
Look at your relationships. Ask yourself: Am I showing up fully, honestly, without a mask?
Check your internal dialogue. Are you modeling the confidence and authenticity you want to see in others?
Lean into authenticity. Undo the layers of performance and protection. Let your real self show up.
Your relationships will never be stronger than your relationship with yourself. Every connection, friendship, and partnership starts there.
When you stop hiding, when you undo the layers, when you show up fully, you give permission for the people around you to do the same.
Relationships are a mirror. Make sure the reflection you see is the one you want.
